December 10, 2010
I see babies everywhere these days. I cannot help it. My entire perspective has shifted. I notice the glow on an expecting mothers face. I watched those images of the woman in labor and heard the words of the angel speaking to Mary and I began to tear up.
My husband is not yet ready for kids. He may never be. And if I am honest with myself, perhaps I'm not yet ready for the dramatic ways my life will be different when/if we bring someone into this world. The simple fact is: for us, right now, the answer to the children question is, "no." That answer brings me great sadness.
And yet, in this season of longing and emptiness, in this season of waiting... I am turning towards those things that I can say yes to. I can say yes to hope. I can say yes to peace. I can say yes to joy. I can say yes to love. I can reach out to others with my life and my actions and give all I have to them.
Maybe God has something in store for us. Maybe being childless will help me minister in different ways. Maybe my hopes and longings will be fulfilled. All I know is that I wait. And I trust that God will be with me. I am not afraid.
at 1:35 PM