self-haters no more

I am now in the habit of stalking my youth group members on facebook... not to see what kinds of mischeif they are into... but to remind them that they are amazing children of God.

I have often commented on the lack of respect among some of the youth in our community these days... but I have realized that it extends to (or maybe is rooted in) self-respect.  Kids in this town just don't believe in themselves.  Or rather, they believe the hurtful and negative things that come out of their classmates' and family members' and "friends" mouths more than they will believe what is inside themselves. 
These young men and women are smart.  They are creative.  They are quick to defend someone who is down. They are excellent athletes.  And they don't believe that they are worth anything.  They spend too many hours a day getting yelled at or picked on or teased or putting other people down and puffing themselves up so that they WON'T have those things happen to them.

They really just need someone to remind them that they are loved. 

That THEY matter.

That they are beautiful - inside and out. 

That they have a whole lifetime of possibility in front of them. 

That this particular guy or situation or game or mistake will not haunt them forever.

My top goal in youth ministry this next year is to respond to every self put-down I hear/see/read.  I'm not going to let them get away with it.  The world tears us down too much to tear our own selves down. 

And even if they won't believe that they have anything to offer... I can remind them over and over again that that is okay, too.  That God takes us how we are and makes us amazing.  That even nobodies can be vessels for God's glory and power.  In fact... being a nobody, being a misfit, being an outcast makes you perfectly suited for the work of the Holy Spirit. And that our Lord and Savior can take all of our pain and shame and anger and frustration and can hold it for us... can set us free and can help us really live. 

Life is too short to belittle the love and the grace and the power of God that rests inside of me.  too beautiful to ignore all of my special gifts and quirks and talents.  I am a unique and wonderful creation, precious in his eyes. And each one of my youth are, too.  I'm going to remind them of that...

Facebook parenting = 21st century coffee klatch

Whenever we went back to my grandma and grandpa's house for holidays, the family gathered together in the living room and we told stories.  Or rather, as the babe in the room I listened to stories, while my aunts and uncles and my mom told about the adventures and misadventures they found themselves in growing up.

Many times, their stories ended like this:  "We thought we would get away with it, but by the time we got home, mom had already heard the news from her coffee klatch."

Stay-at-home moms gathered together for coffee and swapped stories about parenting, shared news, offered encouragement, and yes, told their own stories.  They shared when there was a problem.  And all of your friends' moms knew your business.  They were out there looking out for you.  Your mom did have eyes in the back of her head, and they belonged to Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Fields and Mrs. Rodgers down the street.

My parent's generation grew up and when they became parents, both of them typically worked.  My own family lived out in the country and there wasn't a neighborhood so to speak of for us to run around in.  Not that my mom would have time to be a part of a klatch anyways.  The closest they got was the parents that hung out together on the sidelines of soccer games and t-ball games and football games.  They became their own little community, but their interaction wasn't on a daily basis and as children, we didn't worry so much.

I am not a parent... and watching what kids in the world today deal with I'm not sure I want to be... but as I have watched over my youth and interacted with their parents, I have been intrigued by a new form of community parenting.  Facebook.

As our preteens and teenagers explore the world and interact with eachother, facebook has become an intergenerational site. Moms and dads and grandparents are all online now in ever increasing frequency.  And as our kids post about the dumb things they have done, they now get lectures from all sides.  Even if they are not friends with their parents online, they are with other adults who look out for them and try to push them in positive directions. 

I watched with great interest the other day as one youth recounted how he had crashed his moped.  His mom posted something about being more careful and instantly she was backed up by three or four other parents who also were concerned and had their own advice to offer. 

For parents who are at work during the day, but have access to the site through their cell phones or computers, Facebook is a way of keeping in touch with their kids wherever  they may be.  They daily talk with other parents.  They stay up to date on what is happening all around them. 

Social media sometimes is blamed for increasing depersonalization, but in this little small town, it just might be the coffee klatch of the 21st century.

facebook ministry

7) outreach and ministry through facebook (prayers in the aftermath of the shooting tragedy in our county).

Nearly two weeks ago, we had a tragic shooting near our community. I don't need to go into details, but a young woman's life was taken. There were very little official details at first, but everyone in the community had their own version of what might or might not have happened. I didn't know anyone who was involved, and so while it was very close to me, it also seemed very remote.

Until I watched the news the next morning and saw a congregation member being interviewed. And it was as if I suddenly realized that even though I was not personally affected by this - people in my church were. People in my church knew those who were involved and were grieving the death of a friend. People in my church were shaken up by the fact that something like this had even happened.

I was still in my pj's at the time, but I knew that as a church, the best response we can have is prayer. so I got dressed and headed over to the church.

Here is where I realized that we have no great means of getting the word out fast to people. We don't have a calling tree. Most of our congregation doesn't regularly use email or check our website. But I knew that some of the people affected were on facebook.

I recently created a page for our church on facebook. I thought it might be a good way of publicizing events for our youth who are on there. And so far it has worked very successfully. But some of these kid's parents are also on facebook. So I created an event - a day long prayer vigil at the church for anyone and everyone who wanted to stop in.

And I called a few of the people that in 18 short hours I knew had been personally affected. I let them know that I was at the church and was available.

I don't think we had anyone stop in and use the prayer space at all that day. BUT... simply because it was there, other conversations happened across facebook.

One of my members who saw the listing also posted it as her facebook status. And friends of hers in the community who have never been to our church were touched by the fact that we were doing this. One person even messaged me directly and said that she wanted to come and visit our church after that. Another person requested to add me as her facebook friend afterwards.

People go back and forth all the time about what kind of persona pastors should have on facebook and other social network media. I have always taken the stand that I need to a) be myself wherever I am, and b) that used in the right way - it can be a powerful tool. I do block some of my information/pictues/etc to my church group - mostly because there are kids included in that group that don't necessarily need to see what my friends and I were up to in college. But for the most part - who I am is out there. And I have found it to be an incredible resource for ministry. I get to chat with parents about their kid's baseball games. I can give students encouragement before a concert. I am making connections with people that sneak out of worship before I really have a chance to talk with them on Sunday mornings... or who come to worship only occasionally. In many ways - I'm meeting those congregation members where they are... but I'm also connecting with their friends and colleagues in a way that would not have been available to me before. And that is pretty amazing.

I have a pretty idealistic view of the world. I look for the best in things before I look for their faults - but I also know that everything has its pros and its cons. The best we can do is navigate the waters as best we can, and (I think this this is my new motto) take one step beyond caution when the Spirit nudges.

omniscient

At a meeting, it hit me how facebook changed our world, when we knew where others had been & been doing fromstatus updates. Good or bad? Discuss.