confrontation and follow through

I am notorious for finding myself in situations where my vehicle is hit by another vehicle.

Four years ago, I was stopped at a light, and the car that came up behind me failed/forgot to stop. Bumper damage.

A month or so ago, I was parked and dropping my car off at a hotel when a car backed out of a nearby spot straight into my driver's side door. 

I have to admit, I have had my fair share of fender benders that were my fault.  And I did what I had to do to resolve those issues. 

So it is frustrating that in each of the above situations, the person responsible never had to take responsibility.

Or rather, I haven't made them take responsibility.

Avoidance of confrontation is my M.O.  If I can resolve the issue another way, it is much preferable.  I don't like having to call someone up, sit them down, and tell them... this is not okay and you need to fix it. 

And so in the first situation, I put off the phone calls.  I passively wrote a letter that never got a response.  And eventually the time passed and I moved and it was never resolved.

In the second situation, I'm working up the courage to call and hold the person accountable that hit me.  Which means, I haven't done it yet.

I'm not sure where this avoidance comes from.  My mom is a fairly direct person... at least it has always seemed that way to me... and when there was a problem, she took care of business and she used her "taking care of business" voice and it always seemed to me that the issue was resolved.  That trait was NOT passed on to me!  And maybe that is only my own perspective as a girl and young woman watching my mother and she would describe herself differently... who knows! =)


I think one of the reasons that confrontation is so difficult for me is that I leave a lot of room for grace.  Perhaps too much room.  I know that some things are not okay, but I don't want to have to be the person who calls it out.

In my work as a pastor, I realize that both grace and truth are needed.  Repentance involves both truth about sin AND forgiveness... they are two sides of one coin.  To lean too heavily one way or the other leaves us with cheap grace or heavy handed morality.

In the Ascension Sunday text for this year in the lectionary, from the gospel of Luke, we are reminded that Christ calls us to preach repentence through the forgiveness of sin.  Repentence, the turning away from the past, leads us into forgiveness of our mistakes.  It leads us into a live of forgiveness for others.  But it also involves speaking the truth and confessing those things that need to be forgiven. In calling others to repent, we must also name the reality of sin that needs repenting!

May God grant me the grace to speak a little bit more truth, to make accountability just as important as forgiveness, and to get my car repaired without having to pay for it myself!

"this beautiful mess" part 1

I have been trying to read more.  There are far too many books on my shelf - delicious books - just waiting to be picked up and devoured.  So I decided to start with Rick McKinley's "This Beautiful Mess." 

The writing style just draws me in... it's conversational and pulls me in.  But even more than that, he speaks to the core of my longing for the Kingdom of God.  As he starts out the book, he describes it as a "permission slip... get out of religion free."   He invites us to recieve the book "not as the last theological work on anything, but as a well-intentioned, God-loving invitation to go and grow and be where you haven't before."

And then, McKinley takes those pithy sayings that drive me nuts and transforms them into solid truth in a way that I wish I could do.  For example:

...when our lives are all about us, the appeal of that kind of bumper-sticker dumbness is irresistible. "Christ in you, the hope of glory" gets turned into a tool of the self to assure my business success instead of a promise that brings peace to my soul when all hell breaks loose.

Peace to my soul when all hell breaks loose.  That's what I'm craving.  Yeah, it would be nice for the hell not to break loose at all.  But it does and it will and Christ never promises that we won't have trouble.  Maybe that's what I was getting at a few weeks ago when I blogged about my car accident.  I never expected that an accident wouldn't happen.  I never expected to be so protected by the hand of God that no trouble would ever befall me.  I do expect that Christ will be with me through even the darkest valleys, however.

I have now been in ministry to the congregation I serve for two full years now.  Maybe it's because I'm young, or don't yet have the self-confidence in my own vocation, but it's taken me this long to be able to challenge some of those simplistic and pithy characterizations of God.  I find the confidence to do it in sermons - mostly because the Holy Spirit is at my back... or rather, I pray over my texts that she will be.  I just don't go into other conversations in the same way... and I should!   Perhaps with more prayer and with more confidence in the God who gives me the voice to speak, I can continue to affirm the faith of my people while at the same time giving them a "get out of religion free" card.  I can give them an invitation to think deeper and to go where they haven't been before, to move beyond Jesus and me in heaven by and by to Jesus and me and the poor with my sleeves rolled up here and now. 

It's not an either/or.  I'm foolish to paint it that way.  It's a both/and.  Breathing IN and Breathing OUT.  Letting Christ be King... but King of his own Kingdom and not the ones we create for him.  Changing our allegiances.  Challenging the politics of it all.  And doing all of that with grace and humility.

the Christian journey

How do you understand the following traditional evangelical doctrines: a) repentance; b) justification; c) regeneration; d) sanctification? What are the marks of the Christian life?

Whenever I think of the Christian life, a quote I heard Anne Lamott give (whether or not it actually originated with her) comes to mind: God loves you just the way you are… and loves you too much to let you stay there. The Christian faith journey is just that – a journey, a process of discovering our true selves as created by God. In many ways, these four doctrines are lacking because they don’t acknowledge one that must precede them – God’s prevenient grace that allows us to see our need for repentance. The wonder of God is that the instant we recognize our sinful state is the same moment justifying grace is extended to us; in acknowledging our sin we are given grace by which we can be transformed. This begins a lifelong process of growth and transformation and practice and mistakes and setbacks and return to God for forgiveness and renewal and going on to perfection that makes the Christian life.

We can see evidence of that growth through the three very basic and simple virtues – faith, hope, and love. Working on these papers, a quote was shared with me from Teresa Fry Brown that claims, “Hope hearing the song of the future. Faith is the courage to dance to it.” I would add that love is inviting others to take your hand and join in. We were created for relationship with God and with the rest of creation. Unless we are willing to take a leap of faith and actively participate in the transformative love of God, unless we are willing to have hope in the promise that all of creation will be renewed, we are denying the precious gift we have been given and continue to be in need of God’s grace.

Photo by: Stephen Eastop

The Human Condition

What effect has the practice of ministry had on your understanding of humanity and the need for divine grace?

Over and over again I am reminded about our utter need for grace. In my own life and ministry the work I do would not be effective or positive if it were not for God’s grace. As someone who is beginning this journey of ministry I make more mistakes that I would care to admit, and yet somehow God takes my feeble and human attempts at faithfulness and transforms them mightily. This fall, I was called to the bedside of a congregation member who was actively dying and the family wanted me to say a prayer with him before he passed. In my vanity, I had worn this cute pair of boots, but they were very loud as I stepped into the room. Embarrassed, I tried to take them off so that I wouldn’t disturb the peacefulness and the quiet music in the background. By the time I got my boots off and moved over to the side of the bed and began my prayer, he was taking his last breath. At first, I was angry with myself for having worn the wrong shoes and for taking so long. But the first comment out of his son’s mouth was about how wonderful it was that his father had passed from this world in the midst of prayer.

My understanding of humanity has also been tried and tested in my congregational work. We welcomed a gentleman back into our congregation after he had been in some trouble. Overall, our congregation was very gracious and welcoming! After some time had passed, even connected with our community, he found himself in trouble once again. I think for the first time, I really saw the destructive powers of sin in someone’s life – sin that not only imprisoned his spirit, but also led once again to the imprisonment of his body. And yet through it all, we have continued to be in relationship with him. I was amazed by his power to seek and ask God’s forgiveness and the fact that he kept praying for us in the midst of his struggles.

I have also worked a lot with families in need in our area. As I work with them, I am reminded about how little power so many people have to change their lives. Sin (our own and that of others) digs us into deep holes and creates patterns that we cannot even imagine being different. It isolates us from the help we need and from relationships of love, kindness and mercy. Only by the grace of God can we as a church continue to have the patience to minister to these families and maintain the relationships… and only by the grace of God can their hearts and minds be transformed. But I am also reminded that as a part of this relationship there must be honesty and accountability – there must be confession and a desire for repentance in order for God’s grace to transform our lives.

Photo by: Mateusz Stachowski

The New American Religion Behind the Growing American Rage

The New American Religion Behind the Growing American Rage

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I do sense there is this murky prelude to culture war (or holy war as Richardson calls it) brewing. I sensed it in 2004 when broken crosses were used to spell "God Bless the USA" on our campus lawn in front of the chapel. I sense it today in this anger over health care that is really nothing about health care. Richardson's interview is interesting and he helps us to relate and empathize with his subject, while at the same time leaving the reader, me at least, with the same sense of forboding that he himself feels.

I agree. There are people who are strongly convicted on both sides. My fear is that a war is brewing, a war that none of us really want to see happen, a deep cultural war that will tear apart our communities. I'm not in the middle on this cultural divide. I know what side I'm on. I know what side family and friends are on. And I'm so tired of family being torn apart that perhaps this struggle just seems like a little too much to handle right now. I don't even want to think about what will happen if the flood gates really open.

Perhaps it's always been like this. Perhaps my twenty-seven year old mind is just a little naive to think that we are the first to have these conversations. I know that nothing is new under the sun. I know that Jesus said that we must hate our mother and father, meaning that there are times when we have to let go of those family ties to stand up for what is true. I know these cultural wars surrounded Vietnam, and McCarythism/Red Scare.

But what are the roots of these differences? How can I and my neighbors really be so different? Don't we have the same internal anatomy? Don't we all have flesh and blood and hearts and minds? Aren't we all living in the same world? Hearing the same news? (well, no, actually)

It's not just generational. It's not just religious. It's not even just political - although there is where the line seems to be most clearly drawn. These differences seem to be so deep that when we encounter the same issue, we see completely different things. When we see the same news story presented, we feel different things. When we talk about an issue - we can use the EXACT SAME WORDS and have the EXACT SAME CONCERNS (as was the case in my conference's debate on the world-wide nature of the church amendments) and vote in the exact opposite way! Because our minds are already made up. The fear and distrust is already there. The lines have already been drawn and we know what side we are on.

I recently found out about outlawpreachers. It's kind of a nebulous term loosely used to describe a bunch of ministers and christians who preach nothing but the love and grace of God. At least that's how I am hearing it. That's what I'm clinging to right now. In the midst of the division and fingerpointing and name-calling, and fear on both sides, I'm clinging to the love and grace of God in Jesus Christ. That's it. That is the source of all hope and promise. And it may be the ONLY way out of this mess.

(All of this being said - this is the very first post that I have tagged the words hate and religion. That says a lot.)

thinking ecumenically and maybe a little politically

Lately, I have been having quite a few conversations, theologically and politically with fellow pastors.

It would be fair to say that my current colleagues are more conservative than my colleagues in seminary or college. And what amazed me was the fear that "liberal" colleagues expressed 8 years ago over the Bush administration are the same fears being expressed now, under a new administration by my "conservative" friends. In both places, I heard words like "facism" and "homeland security" being thrown around with fears that their rights to the things they hold most dear would be stripped away. Each is afraid that their most important values will be tossed to the side.

In that same conversation, we also talked about the differences in how we recieve God's grace in each tradition. In United Methodism it's through the means of grace - which include works of piety and works of mercy. In the Lutheran tradition, it's through the word - in preaching, study, baptism, etc. In the Reformed tradition God's grace isn't limited and yet there was a strong hesitation to say that grace comes through works.

All of these things together - both the political and theological conversation - have me feeling like we aren't even talking the same language with one another. We are looking at the exact same thing: political decisions on one hand and God's grace on the other, and we interpret each in completely different ways. After our conversation we got to a place where we could agree to disagree theologically - but we didn't really even touch the political difference (well, we did debate torture for a bit).

I don't know that I have ever wished for full unity within the Christian tradition. I understand that there are important theological differences in what we claim to believe. We can agree on the fundamentals, but how those fundamentals are played out - woah. VAST differences. Same with the political landscape. The idea of a one party system would be a terrible plan... in fact, I would be in favor of lots of political parties, each articulating clearly their perspectives.

Debate and conversation are important (in United Methodism, we call it conferencing). They help us to form and reflect upon our beliefs. They call us to know our own positions well enough to speak for them. But they also call us to listen and to be aware of when our positions are in need of reformation. That's where the Holy Spirit comes in... to help us reach a consensus... to help us reach God's will... in the midst of our vast differences.

That last piece of the puzzle isn't happening. In politics and in the church, we hear what we fear from the other side. We interpret the actions of the "opposition" as being tactical moves to wipe us out. And especially when we throw around labels like facism, we are invoking the idea that we need to stand up and fight back - not have a conversation, but stage a full out rebellion. I was there and listening to those points of view in 2001, I am there and listening to those points of view now in 2009. I'm hearing those same arguments in the church around our constitutional amendments right now. And it doesn't work. It creates dissension instead of making room for the Holy Spirit to move and perhaps change all of us. Fear and unwillingness to listen only makes us more rigid in our points of view and more ready to see subtle differences as vast gulfs.

Jon Stewart had a guest on earlier this week, Cliff May, and they discussed torture. And I mean discussed it. They both spoke clearly about what they believed in an informed and articulate manner. And they respected each other. That doesn't mean that neither made mistakes. But at the end of it, they both understood one another better.

I pray that we might all do this. We might all listen more and fear less. That we might ask questions instead of making assumptions. That we would be willing to look at our own positions through the eyes of another. And then, if after we have done all of that, we still have fears - if we still believe that the foundations of our beliefs and values are crumbling around us - YES! stand up and speak loudly and be the prophet you are called to be. But listen first.

And... fyi - I'm extremely disheartened by the Pew Research Center poll (altho it was a small sample) that going to church - especially a mainline church - makes you more willing to support torture.

a simple prayer for pastors

gracious god.

help us to speak your truth.

help us know that while judgment is reserved only for you, that sometimes you call prophets to share your concern for the world and for your children.

bless us with courage.

bless us with grace for the times we have failed to proclaim boldly your words of liberation and bless us with the ability to be ready the next time you call us to speak.

amen.

law or grace?

i was talking with a friend tonight about guilt and its absolutely pervasive impact on our lives. She was talking about something that is a normal and healthy part of her life and yet there was still residual guilt from societal standards that come up afterwards.

Guilt is such a terrible terrible thing. And I think I feel that way because I'm troubled by the fact we just can't figure out how to live as people under grace.... we still think we are under the law and that we are constatnly being measured up against something.

I know I do it all the time. I neglect to spend an afternoon visiting church members and instead spend it connecting with colleagues online and I feel guilty. I don't practice my guitar, and I feel guilty. I look at the dishes piled up on my counter, and I feel guilty. And those are just simple things. Guilt pervades our lives.

And it pervades my church. I think my biggest uphill battle in this congregation is trying to get people to stop talking about hell and the law and having to "straighten up and fly right" (they say this ALL THE TIME!) and to just focus on loving one another and loving ourselves and loving God. I think it comes down to Paul's own struggle with the law that he had lived with his whole life. He wanted so much to live by grace, but was constantly seeing his body in the light of the law.

I think I've mentioned this before, but there is a guy I visit with who wants to know why I don't talk about hell more, why I'm not preaching for people to flee from the wrath to come. I don't see our faith that way. My faith and my salvation is about restoring my relationship with God, not making sure I don't spend an eternity burning in hell. And in relationships, we are constantly growing and changing and we make mistakes, but it is the willingness to keep being in the relationship that matters. I think that is why the idea of covenant is so important and why God, no matter now many times Israel was unfaithful to the covenant, found ways to bring them back into relationship. the problem wasn't that they did bad things. the problem was they neglected their relationship with God and put something else in God's place.

I've been married for only a year and a half - but even in that short time, I know what that is like. We make mistakes all the time. We treat each other like crap somedays, and sometimes we make poor choices like putting work or down time or making dinner before each other. It happens. But if we were to let the past and all of the ways we have not fulfilled our marriage covenant determine our future, if we were to carry all of those mistakes with us and bring guilt into the present, we would never be able to forgive and love one another. The biggest piece of marriage advice I got was to never go to bed angry with one another. On the flip side, never go to bed feeling bad about something you have done.

What if we lived that kind of relationship with God? Where inspite of our failings, we went to bed leaving the past behind us and with a renewed commitment to be in relationship for another day? Covenants are not about prescribed standards and boxes to check and things we have to do - it is about a choice to be in relationship. And in a healthy relationship, there can be no guilt.

rainbows.

Today in church, we painted a rainbow. As we remembered God's promise to Noah after the flood - we affirmed, as a congregation, that we are blessed by God.

We follow a God who desires not the death of a sinner, but that we all repent and live.

We follow a God who promises to be, and has been, with us through the storms of our lives.

We follow a God who reached down into the dust of the earth to breath life into humanity - and then, even when we turned away, came down and became the dust of the earth to redeem us.

I found this writing by Bruce Pewer a few years ago in one of his sermons on this text and it continues to stay with me:

Rejoice in the rainbow. It is the sign of God’s steadfast love which promises not destruction but hope and reconstruction. It is on the basis of God’s covenant love that we dare to confront evil; it enables us to laugh in the face of the evil one, taking initiative and daring to be pro-active.

Against all the evil you see in the world, against all the injustice and corruption you observe in our nation, against all the perverse evil you see raising its sneaky head within yourself, dare to paint a rainbow!

Paint a rainbow over your frustrating failings and wilful sins, and over your irksome doubts and ignorance.

Over your sins within family life, or the ugly compromises you may have had to make in the sphere of your daily work, set that rainbow.

Project a rainbow over the motley fellowship which is the church, with its flawed ministers, stumbling leaders and its sometimes passive congregations.

In your mind paint a rainbow wherever flawed and lost humanity struggles to find a way of its own mess.

The rainbow is a permanent sign of God’s faithful love. A love which not only creates, but constantly recreates and redeems.

So today, we literally painted a rainbow to remember God's promises. We painted a rainbow to remember how God has blessed us in the past. And we painted a rainbow to be a sign to us - even in these dark days - that God is with us, and that even in the wilderness of Lent, God will send angels to care for us.

In some ways - personally - with all of the excitement and joy that I wanted this response to hold, as a congregation we had heavy hearts this morning. Right before the service, we learned of the sudden death of one of our own. In more ways than one, this message about the rainbow in the midst of storm clouds really served as comfort and hope, even in the midst of our grief and sadness.

While there of course have been deaths in the congregation prior to this point, none have hit me quite so close as this one. We have said goodbye to many dear sweet older folks this past year, and in some ways, because I was new, and because many of them were in the nursing home and not actively present in the church, it has been easier to be the comforting pastor. This particular passing is the husband of someone I have gotten to know quite well in the past year. And I pray with all of my heart for God's strength to help me minister to her and her family in these coming days.

life breathed into dust

today as we come forward to have the ashes placed upon our foreheads, as we remember what it means to be made of the dust of the earth, we tell the truth about our mortality and our sin.

we are nothing but dust - and to dust we shall return.

yet there is something profoundly missing in that story. because even in the beginning, as God formed us from the dust of the earth, from the clay of the ground, as God got down on hands and knees and got dirty... molding us and forming us... we were touched with the maker's hands. and then the God of the universe breathed into Adam the breath of life.

as dust - we cannot escape from our mortality or our sin. as dust - there is no end possible but to return to the ground.

but we are not merely dust. God desires not the death of a sinner but a broken and contrite heart. God wants to bring life into our midst.

this time of lenten discipline is a time to open ourselves up to God's grace. That may come through spiritual disciplines like fasting and prayer. it may come from denial of temptations (coffee and soda, anyone?). it may come from an attentive awareness to God's movement in everyday things. But none of these practices in and of themselves earn God's love - will bring us salvation... we do them simply to spend time with God, we do them for the sake of God, practicing these disciplines focus our lives on God and that in and of itself brings its own reward.

ABC's of ...

I spent a lot of time in the car last week - having to drive to the hospital in another city and then traveling yet again to meet with my clergy mentor. And as I did so, I kept thinking about how we can really ramp up energy for the fall and then sustain it. What would get people who haven't been in a while to come back? What would be appealing for those in our community who have never checked out our church? How can we reach out and really start at the basics?

And then it hit me... back to school... back to the basics... what about focusing this fall, beginning with the return to our normal schedule/sunday school/3rd grade bible give out, on the ABC's?

I struggle with the ABC's of what... ABC's of the church? ABC's of faith? ABC's of Christianity? So bear with me as I figure that one out... (or if you have suggestions - please comment!!!)

I'm also a fairly consistent lectionary preacher, so in thinking about this, I've been trying to figure out how each Sunday, from Aug 31 to Nov 23 (because then we start Lent), fits not only a letter, but also the weekly texts. Some have worked beautifully. Others, not so well. So I'm asking for some help.

1) Am I trying to hard to make this concept work?
2) Suggestions for the letters that have no direction yet (B, H, I, L)

Here is what I have so far:

A: Alpha/Omega or I AM

focusing on who God is, using the burning bush scriptures from Exodus, and combining this and the previous week's gospels - Mt 16:13-28

B: Body of Christ, Blessed, ?

scriptures for the week include teaching on how to reach when someone offends you in the church, the institution of passover, and in Romans, the call to love and call to prepare for salvation by putting on Christ. Sidenote: after reading a sermon recently on Psalm 119 - I really was thinking about using "Bible" for my B... so that may be an entirely different direction

C: Care, Compassion, Community

scriptures include the law of forgiveness, the call not to judge one another, and the parting of the sea in exodus. Originally when I thought about this series, I really wanted to focus on care during this week - and to emphasize our role as a community to care for one another, and my desire to care for them. I've noticed that people don't call me or tell me when something happens in their lives - like if they have to go in for surgery or suddenly end up in the hospital - which may be simply that they aren't used to telling their pastor these things. I want to talk about how together we are supposed to care for each other.

D: Disciple (but I was really thinking about Doubt too)

scriptures: Paul's exhortation to live lives worthy of the gospel, the parable of the landowner and the wages for workers, and if I went the doubt route - the manna and quails and the people grumbling in the wilderness

E: Emptying

I really wanted to use Kenosis for K... and then realized that the Christ Hymn fell on the E Sunday - which is perfect! (since its the same concept)

F: Faith (and maybe Fear also) ooo... maybe Fall?

This is also World Communion Sunday - so I was stuck a bit. The scriptures for the week don't fit really well with the scope of world communion Sunday and I was stretching trying to make fruit work. Scriptures are supposed to include the parable of the wicked tenants, the 10 commandments, and the example of Paul - I press on toward the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ. I could use the wicked tenants and the 10 commandments to talk about the Fall, and our place before God - why we need the law. But another idea is to actually take the readings from August 10 and use them here: Jesus walking on the water (faith and fear) along with Paul talking about faith and the idea that there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same Lord is Lord of all. (which I think works much better for World Communion Sunday). Thoughts?

G: Grace

This would be a great time to talk about grace from the Wesleyan perspective. I think the three main readings can help illustrate prevenient grace (the sinners invited to the feast), justifying grace (moses interceding after the golden calf), and sanctifying grace (stand firm, help one another, rejoice from Philippians)

H: Holy, Holy Spirit, Humility

I'm stuck here. Readings include Jesus call to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, as well as the pharisees trying to trap Jesus in questions; Moses having the chance to encounter God's presence, but not being able to look at God's face; and Paul giving thanks for the Thessalonians who received the gospel with power and the Holy Spirit. Could go lots of different ways.

I: ? Instruction? Idolatry?

Again, stuck here. Readings include the greatest command - to love, the death and burial of Moses, and Paul assuring the Thessalonians that he comes to bring them not only God's word, but also their true hearts (you are witnesses to how blameless our conduct was towards you)

J: Joy, Journey, Jordan River

All Saints Sunday - which fits in PERFECTLY. Joshua is leading the people across the river Jordan where they remember the promise of God and leave 12 stones for remembrance, Paul gives thanks for witnesses, and Matthew warns against trying to be better, but that we should all be servants - what a great day to celebrate the saints among us who have passed before us?

K: Kingdom of God/Heaven

parable of the 10 bridesmaids (the kingdom of heaven will be like this!), choose this day who you will serve (Joshua)

L: ? (Lord, Light, Love, Law, Life, Lord's Prayer, Logos)

readings include the parable of the talents; Paul claiming that the Lord will come like a theif in the night - so we should be children of the light; and simply the introduction of Deborah as a judge - not even the full story. Part of me wants to switch this week with the greatest command to love scriptures (week I) - which would mean going a different direction with week I (could they just be flip-flopped?)

M: Messiah

Christ the King Sunday - Readings include the sheep and the goats, Christ as the head of the church, and Ezekiel's description of the shepherd who seeks the lost.

That brings me to the first Sunday of Advent - which I want to focus on in its fullness.

putting things off

I haven't written in here for a while - and I have SO much to say. And only 20 minutes before I need to be at the hospital. So here is a checklist - 1) Breaking Bread, 2) Sand and Water at the beginning of Lent, 3) the roundtable pulpit group, 4) wrestling with grace and a phone call from someone in need.

Really my prompting this afternoon to actually get on here and type something comes from a book I started glancing at called "wrestling with grace" by Robert Corin Morris. In a few paragraphs he writes:

Often we don't understand Jesus' words clearly when we begin to respond to them. I have had a slow struggle with myself over Jesus' seemingly clear challenge: "Give to everyone who asks" You can't honor every request, can you? Certinaly not! What about beggars? How do you know they're for real? What if an alcoholic wants a drink? What if there are more important priorities that claim my time right now? And yet, and yet... when I was in college I heard a man who simply did it. He always carried a bag of change when he walked the streets of new York; and if someone asked for money, he gave them some, along with a few moments of conversation and a warm "God bless you." He said, "The Man told me to give, not to launch an investigation. I'm not in charge of the outcome."

... I'm coming to see that Jesus doesn't specify exactly what you're supposed to give when someone asks. I hear him calling me to deal in some gracious and appropriate way with the person who asks; at least to give something: "Yes, I'd love to look at this book; can it wait till summer?" "Of course I'll get those papers for you, right now." "No, I'm not able to talk right now, but I'll call you right back when I'm finished." Give. Give something. Don't turn away. And so the meaning of Jesus' word keeps growing in my heart. (pgs 55-57)

This passage struck me because I got a call from a woman today who needed some help. And I immediately questioned the motivations, wanted to check out her story, was cautious of being scammed. They certainly don't teach you in Divinity School how to respond to a request for money or for a bus ticket. I eventually said no, because our ministerial alliance has funds for gas, food and lodging, but not for purchasing bus tickets - the fare was four times what we are normally able to give.

But what if she was an angel unawares? Why should I investigate or judge her story? Did I really give anything to her? I started by giving her my time, but checking out the resources and promising to call her back and by doing so. But in the end, I felt slightly bad about the situation. If our church had a pastoral discretionary account, I probably would have done something. If I didn't have my own bills to pay I might have even dipped into my own pocket. But I make excuses. And so Morris' word to give... give something. don't turn away. hit me like a load of bricks this afternoon. it is quite the challenge and I'm still left torn about what I can do.