October 16, 2009
breathe in, breathe out
As a pastor, as a wife, as a daughter, as an aunt, as a sister, as a home... well, home-occupier. Every facet of my life has pulled me and stretched me and stressed me out and brought me joy and helped me to grow and made me happy. All in the short two week span between October 1 and October 15.
I've met with families of loved ones who have died. I have wrestled with divorce and separation and legal battles in the church and in my family - and the heartache that comes from just wanting to make all of those things better and just wanting people to love one another yet again pr at the very least to stop hurting one another so badly and not being able to do anything.
I've waded through mistakes and miscommunications and "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s and apologies and goal setting and covenants and unworthiness and unconditional love and communion and meetings and singing and laughter and tears and anger and worry and muddy dirt roads and chicken noodle soup and piles of paper and paint stores and hugs and stories and fumbles and touchdowns and ...
I'm exhausted. But this afternoon I get to go and meet the newest addition to our family. And tomorrow I get to hang out with my brothers and sister-in-law and dad. and next week, even though our young clergy retreat is postponed - I'm taking a personal day to enjoy all of the blessings that have arrived in the midst of the chaos and to celebrate the clarity of vision that has come through the storms.
at 1:58 PM