genuine and mutual love

1so, after playing world of warcraft some today I heard for the first time about "two girls one cup." and I, being the oblivious sort of person I am had no freaking idea of what everyone was talking about. My husband was too grossed out and refused to tell me, so I googled it and got lucky enough to find the wikipedia article, rather than the video (which I refuse to watch)... I strongly urge you to stay away after hearing the description.

Suffice it to say, I saw something about John Mayer making a spoof video of it on HIS blog... and for some reason was intrigued so I went over there and was stunned to read this, his latest entry. He shares how tired of he is of pretending to be unaffected by what everyone else thinks. And while I think that we all try to wear that armor and really do try to be above everyone else's opinions, we simply cannot.

This may seem really dumb. But I cut my hair this week. A whole 12 inches of it! And it feels really good to get all of the compliments and "wow that looks nice" and all of that stuff. It gives me more confidence. Because whether we want to admit it or not, what we say and do to the people around us DOES affect them. We are all interrelated. We laugh together, we cry together, and if someone is in a crappy mood or is rude, it affects us. If they spout judgment or are dripping with sarcasm, we feel it.

This week in the lectionary, our reading is from 1 Peter 1... and i'm thinking particularly of verse 22:

Now that you have purified your souls by your obedience to the truth so that you
have genuine mutual love, love one another deeply from the heart.

If we have that kind of genuine and mutual love - if we are deeply honest and if we truly care, the we don't have to walk around with armor on all the time. We can be who we are, we can confront one another with a genuine honesty that comes from a sense of mutual accountability, rather than selfish desires and judgmentalism. I think we'd hurt each other a lot less if we actually lived this out.

I'm glad that somehow I got led to Mayer's post tonight. I'm really frustrated that I had to get there through "two girls one cup." I wish we were about more than that as a culture. as a community. as a people.

Christ is Risen! Easter Sunday is Over! Praise the Lord!

Well. Somehow I made it through one of the busiest weeks of my entire life. The irony didn't escape me that while many friends and siblings and loved ones were on spring break, I felt like i was in the midst of finals.

This past week, I had a funeral, gave the invocation at a banquet, had the neice and nephew over for a sleep over, did Maundy Thursday service, Good Friday service, visited three diferent sets of relatives and had 2 worship services on Sunday morning. *whew!*

Now I'm exhausted. But instead of taking the day off monday and sleeping, I ended up taking my car to the shop. And then found out the repairs would be almost as much as the car itself, that the parts had to be ordered and that I shouldn't even drive the vehicle until the repairs were finished. So, we dropped the car off at my in-laws, rented a vehicle and then got ready to drive to Des Moines for our School for Ministry.

I'm in the midst of it right now. I thought about blogging my way through, but for right now I'm just going to update as we go. Our faculty is Roberta Bondi, Tex Sample and Lovett Weems. So far- it has been EXCELLENT. Bondi is teaching us about prayer, especially through the desert mothers and fathers. Sample is lecturing about justice - especially corporate domination of government, the inequality of wealth and the increasing economic risk that families face. and Weems tomorrow will begin to talk about church leadership. I am just floored by what we have discussed so far and am SO glad that I am here.

grey area.. greys anatomy

I haven't written in here for a while. Lots going on. Had a young adult clergy retreat this last weekend and really really enjoyed being with other young pastors and just hanging out. It was good to veg for a while.

The whole sermon thing is starting to feel like homework. Especially this week. I feel like I am back in theology class having to write my christology/soteriology/resurrection-ology. I honestly don't remember ever having to preach an easter/resurrection sermon before... well - except at the two funerals that I have done already. And as I work this week with the raising of Lazarus and then think about Easter in two weeks, my mind is just stuck. What do I want to say about resurrection? Or more importantly, what I have I experienced in my life that is resurrection? I'm still a young person. And there have been a few bumps in the road... but I don't know that I have had a real resurrection experience. Everything I try to draw upon feels too fluffy and sappy and cheesy to work. To really connect with the lives of people in my congregation.

This week, I really am thinking hard about how this moment in John's gospel is really the beginning of Christ's passion. Raising Lazarus is what signs his death warrant here. And he comes so close to Jerusalem in order to do so. From here on out, we know how the story goes. I really want to include some of that tension and pain and passion in with this week. Especially since next week we are doing a sort of lessons and hymns and recalling the whole palm/passion story.

I just feel stuck. Not quite sure what direction I want to take. And instead of really sitting with it, I'm letting myself get distracted (I'm getting excited for Grey's Anatomy coming back... even though I still have a month and a half to wait! The old episodes, my dvds, are calling my name).